Procrastination

Procrastinating?  Who me?  No, NEVER!!  Just hold on a second, I quickly want to do this before I have that HUGE proposal due for you in 15 minutes time.

Sound familiar.  Oh yes!!  This is me.  Hello everyone.  My name is Marlize and I am a Procrastinator. 

Psychologically procrastination refers to the act of replacing high-priority actions with tasks of low-priority, thus putting off important tasks to a later time.  Psychologists see this type of behaviour as a coping mechanism with the anxiety associated with beginning or completing any tasks or decisions. 

They say procrastination can lead to:

1.   Stress.  Oh, I definitely have one (or a few) of those!

2.   A sense of guilt.  Mmm, not until the day before.

3.   Crisis.  HELL YEAH!!

4.   Severe loss of personal productivity.  Oh, got one of those too.

5.   Social disapproval for not meeting deadlines.  Thank goodness I didn’t have an experience like that … YET!!

My definition of procrastination, “Holy S*%^!!!  Is that due tomorrow?!”  Yes, I have a problem.  I try, but I guess it has become a habit.  I have convinced myself (with years of practice) that I do much better under stressful situations, but it is not always the case.  Sometimes I hit a complete blank and wander around for hours (the few that I have) with no idea what to do. 

Point is, I’m a work in progress.  I admitted my problem, haven’t I?  I am getting there.  I am slowly but surely throwing out my procrastinating self and doing my work diligently and on time.  Hold thumbs!!

Feelings follow Behaviour

What are feelings and what can behaviour be?  Simple words we come into connection with each day of our lives, but do we really UNDERSTAND it?

Behaviour can be defined as a manner in which we conduct ourselves, while feelings can be defined as an affective state of consciousness, such as that resulting from emotions, sentiments or desires.  I believe these two components walk hand-in-hand.

In which ever manner we behave, it will definitely have an effect on the feelings of another person.  We must therefore be so very careful of what we say to one another or the type of body language we show.  This can either strengthen a relationship or completely damage it.  In some way, if we behave badly towards friends and family, they find a way to forgive us, even if it takes a while.  On the other hand, if you behave badly at work or in public, they will be less forgiving.  It is either “suck it up and smile” or “there’s the door, close it when you’re out”. 

A handy tip handed to me from my dearest Mom:  Always treat others like you would want to be treated.  It’s definitely a lesson to live by.

Friendship … a Love / Hate Relationship

The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy defines friendship as being a distinctive personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend and for the welfare of the other.  I feel it is a give and take type of relationship.  Or so I thought.  Sometimes I wonder if friendship is supposed to be so difficult.

We are a tightly knitted group of friends.  We were friends in school, there were some issues, our friendship broke up and after school we renewed our friendship vows.  Good idea?  I wonder.

We are so tightly knitted that when having a braai or an evening out, we HAVE to invite everyone, otherwise a few feelings get hurt.  We have very diverse personalities and it does clash sometimes – okay, I’m lying … TOO MANY times.  There is one particular friend whom I disagree with constantly.  I feel she is very selfish and very easily upset.  This creates unnecessary, unwanted and uncomfortable vibes.  We have been friends since Primary School and she means a lot to me, although I got very hurt by her a few times already.  And so I can list a lot of friends and a lot of underlying issues, but also greatness, love, support and understanding as well.

I wonder if friendship is supposed to be so much effort.  I wonder if I shouldn’t just cut my losses.  You know, what do I have to lose?  I think a hell of a lot.  If I break away, I will not know where to go.  I will not know how to start from scratch.  I will be alone and gosh, I’m SO very afraid of being alone. 

This brings me to the question, is friendship a love / hate relationship?  Am I the only one finding it SO very difficult?  Can I be the problem?

It is better to practice a little than talk a lot

Some people have the ability to talk a lot, a lot of nonsense and empty promises. 

Talking nonsense has its upside.  My friends and I talk nonsense quite a lot.  It can be funny, joking, dreaming, wishing and everything else.  It’s what makes our conversations a little lighter.  Not all conversations can be serious.  It will drive us all insane!

While there is no problem in talking nonsense, a problem surfaces when individuals talk a lot and do not practice what they preach to others.  Many people make empty promises; hurting people they are suppose to love.  These people say one thing and do exactly the opposite.  Many others like giving advice, but yet they do not put their own advice into practice. 

We have to be able to limit our sense of talking nonsense.  We have to be able to live the life we want others to live.  We have to practice what we preach.  By doing this, the World will anyway be a better place.